why I write about my sex life
1. Because I believe that sex is a normal and healthy part of adult life for people who are single, dating, or married, for people from many backgrounds, for people who feel ashamed of sex, for people of all sexual orientations, for people who believe in heaven, for people who want to get it on alone, for people whose sexual interest never goes further than hand holding and gazing passionately into their partner's eyes. Sex. is. normal.
2. Because, like many women, my mother never talked to me about sex, And to have literally anyone get real with me about brazilian waxes, fake orgasms, dirty talk, butt lifts, anal, voyeurism, vibrators? That would have been useful.
3. Because being sexual modesty cultivates shame. I spent all of my growing up years being so ashamed of my sexual feelings that I wanted to crawl out of my skin. For me, fully embracing my sexuality means normalizing it, talking about it casually, rather than seeing it is a sacred thing.
4. Because my sex education mostly came from daytime television, where I learned to eat less, always say yes, and smile. I didn't know that I was allowed to ask for what I wanted, or what that looked like in a sexual setting.
5. Because I didn't know that I had access to my sexuality as a single person. Masturbation, casual hookups, and porn were tools of the devil. I was subtly taught that sex is a privilege reserved for people in righteous marriages, and if you can't land a spouse that can give you babies (read: heteronormative), then sex isn't your right.
6. Because my sex life is pretty hot and I like to brag about it.
7. Because sex brings me joy and it makes me sad that so many women feel enough guilt about sex that they lose that joyful feeling.
8. Because our current sex culture encourages women to hate their bodies and beg men to love them, and I want to be part of the movement to create something healthier.
8. Because an understanding of your sexual practice can create a deeper understanding of your body, your needs, your communication barriers, your boundaries. It can support your creative practices, your journey to health, and your spiritual well-being. But it's hard to understand something if you aren't encouraged to articulate, express, and share it.